You ever get a text that says “can we talk” and immediately feel like you’re being called to the principal’s office… even though you pay taxes and own a throw pillow that says “Namaste”?
Yeah. That’s not just anxiety. That’s your Emergency Emotional ResponseSystem lighting up like a Vegas billboard at midnight.
Spoiler alert: Most of your life isn’t an emergency. But your nervous system didn’t get the memo.
Your Brain Still Thinks It’s 10,000 B.C.
Here’s the thing: your brain doesn’t know the difference between “my partner just
sighed weird” and “there’s a saber-toothed tiger behind that bush.” It just registers threat.
Real threat? Being chased by a bear.
Perceived threat? Someone not texting you back for 4 hours after you were vulnerable.
Your body reacts to both like you’re about to die.
Which is cute… until you realize you're canceling dinner plans over what was actually
just a low phone battery and bad grammar.
The Four Alarm Bells: Fight, Flight,Freeze, Fawn
Let’s talk about the four ways your emotional emergency system throws a tantrum:
Fight
You snap, clap back, or go into lawyer mode. You suddenly have 37 bullet points
explaining why you’re not the problem — and 4 side arguments just incase.
Signature Move: Slamming a cabinet door like it insulted your ancestors.
Flight
You avoid, escape, ghost, or mentally move to a cabin in the woods where no one can
ever wound you again. (But with good WiFi. You’re not a monster.)
Signature Move: Shutting down mid-conversation with a breezy “It’s fine.I’m just tired.” You’re not fine. And you’re not tired.
Freeze
Your brain hits “buffering.” You can’t move. You can’t speak. You just stand there
like a deer caught in a conversation about “where this is going.”
Signature Move: Smiling and nodding while disassociating into space.
🕊Fawn
You people-please your way out of danger. You apologize for existing. You agree
with things you hate. You offer someone a snack while they’re insulting you.
SignatureMove: “No no, it’s totally okay that you forgot my birthday. Ilove being forgotten. Makes me feel mysterious.
So Why Does This System Freak Out So Often?
Because your Primal Wounds are basically whispering "we’re not safe"behind the scenes. And those wounds hit that big red panic button over stuff that isn’t actually dangerous, but feels like it.
Someone sets a boundary?
➤ Your “I’m Undeserving” wound interprets it as rejection.
You’re left out of a group invite?
➤ Your “I’m an Outsider” wound is like “Burn it all down.”
You make a mistake?
➤ “I’m Unintelligent” wound says, “Welp, guess we’re unlovable now.”
You’re Not Broken — You’re Just Wired for Safety
This isn’t about weakness. It’s about old wiring. Your nervous system learned early
on that certain moments weren’t safe. So now, as an adult, you react with the
same urgency... even if the “danger” is someone using a period at the end of a
text.
That’s not drama. That’s survival mode. And the more you notice it, the more power you
have to pause, breathe, and choose differently.
Your system isn’t wrong for trying to protect you. But not every raised eyebrow is a
red flag.
Sometimes it’s just…a raised eyebrow. And you’re allowed to feel triggered without acting like you’re in a Hallmark breakup scene.