What Are the 7 Primal Wounds?

Let’s get real: if you’ve ever walked out of a situation thinking, “Why did I react like that?” or “Why does this always happen to me?” — you’re not broken. You’re likely battling something I call a Primal Wound.

These wounds are invisible, often buried, but they drive everything — your relationships, your emotional triggers, your inner critic, and even the dreams you’re too scared to chase.

So what exactly are they? Let’s unpack it.

A Primal Wound is an emotionally charged belief you absorbed early in life — typically before age 5 — about who you are and what you’re worth.

They don’t come from one big traumatic event (though that can play a role). Most wounds are created from small, repeated moments where something didn’t happen: you didn’t feel heard, seen, comforted, or accepted.

When your nervous system can’t make sense of pain, it personalizes it.
You didn’t think: “My parent is emotionally unavailable.”
You thought: “I must not be lovable.”

That belief became part of your operating system. Now you react to present-day life through that old lens — even if it’s outdated and completely false.

The 7 Primal Wounds

These aren’t personality flaws. They’re emotional templates — patterns you absorbed when you were too young to question whether they were true.

Here they are:

I Am Insignificant

You feel unseen. Like your presence doesn’t really matter and your voice is background noise.
You might:

Stay quiet to avoid “bothering” people

Get overlooked in relationships or workplaces

Overcompensate by over-explaining, over-functioning, or trying to be “the best”

I Am Inadequate

You believe you’re fundamentally not enough — not smart enough, skilled enough, attractive enough.
You might:

Become a perfectionist

Avoid trying things unless you know you’ll succeed

Feel gutted by even mild criticism

I Am Incapable

You feel like you can’t handle life — like you don’t have what it takes to manage stress, responsibilities, or big emotions.
You might:

Procrastinate or freeze when overwhelmed

Avoid new situations or big decisions

Depend on others to “rescue” you emotionally or practically

I Am an Outsider

You’ve never felt like you truly belong — not in your family, peer group, or society.
You might:

Try to blend in or mask your true personality
Stay on the fringes to avoid rejection
Question whether people really “get” you

I Am Damaged

You believe something inside you is broken or unfixable — emotionally, physically, or even spiritually.
You might:

Feel shame about past experiences

Feel shame about past experiences

Think healing is for “other people,” not you

Avoid vulnerability because you fear rejection or exposure

I Am Undeserving

You struggle to receive — love, money, support — because you believe you haven’t earned it or don’t measure up.
You might:

Deflect compliments or success

Give more than you receive in relationship

Self sabotage when good things start to happen

I Am Powerless

You feel like life just happens to you. Like you don’t have a say — or if you do speak up, it won’t matter.
You might:

Avoid conflict or difficult conversations

Feel stuck in situations and unsure how to change them

Use control or people-pleasing as survival strategies

All of These. Do I Have All 7?

It’s possible to relate to all of them. But typically, you’ll have one dominant wound — the one that hijacks you emotionally the fastest and leaves the biggest imprint in your relationships.

Think of it like your nervous system’s default alarm.

For example:

If someone ghosts you and you spiral into worthlessness, that might reveal the Insignificance wound.

If someone critiques your work and you freeze or rage? That could be Not Good Enough or Not Smart Enough firing.

The goal isn’t to erase these wounds — it’s to understand them so you can stop reacting blindly and start responding consciously.

Where They Come From: It’s Not Just “Bad Parents”

These wounds form from perceived emotional gaps, not just blatant abuse or neglect.

You could’ve had parents who loved you deeply but were too stressed, distracted, or emotionally shut down to meet your needs. Or maybe you were the “easy” child who learned to stay quiet so others could shine.

It’s not about blame. It’s about understanding what you needed and didn’t get, and how your brain made sense of that.

Why Primal Wounds Sabotage Adult Life

Here’s the kicker: your subconscious still thinks it’s protecting you from the original pain.

So you:

Choose partners who reinforce your wound
(You feel unlovable, so you date someone emotionally unavailable)

Self-sabotage when life gets too good
(Because “good enough” feels unfamiliar)

React to minor issues with major emotion
(Because it’s not about the present moment — it’s about an ancient wound being poked)

Your nervous system isn’t wired for thriving. It’s wired for survival.
Primal wounds keep you stuck in survival mode — unless you spot them and choose a new response.

How to Begin -Awareness Is the First Step

You don’t heal a wound by ignoring it or trying to be “positive.”
You heal it by naming it, seeing how it plays out, and learning to interrupt the pattern.

Start here:

Name your dominant wound
Which one makes you squirm the most? That’s probably it.

Track your triggers
What sends you into a spiral? What story are you telling yourself in those moments?

Rewire your response
This is what I teach in 7 Primal Wounds: Break the Patterns Keeping You Stuck- instead of managing the symptoms, we go straight to the source.

Why This Work Matters

Understanding your primal wound changes everything.

💥 Your relationships get clearer. You stop repeating patterns that drain you.
💥 Your confidence grows. You start acting from truth, not fear.
💥 Your healing accelerates. Because now you're targeting the root, not the symptoms.

You’ll begin to say things like:

“That’s not mine to carry.”

“That’s my wound talking.”

“I don’t need to chase to prove I matter.”

And THAT is where freedom lives.

Final Thoughts: You’re Not Broken. But you could use a rewire.

And wounds can be understood, tended to, and transformed.
They don’t have to define you — but they will direct you until you recognize them.

So if you’re ready to stop reacting from fear and start responding from self-awareness, I invite you to take the next step:

👉 Take the Free Primal Wound Quiz
👉 Download the “Relationship Reset” Starter Guide
👉 Explore the 7 Primal Wounds Book and Coaching Path

https://www.7primalwounds.com/

You’re not too much.
You’re not too late.
And you’re not the story your wound is still trying to tell.