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E133 GUEST David Meltzer is changing 1 billion lives for the better in this episode he tells you exactly what you need to BE HAPPY

· david meltzer,happiness,mental health,changing lives


David Meltzer (00:01): 

Hello, how are you? I'm terrific. How are you? 

Michaela (00:05): 

Wonderful. Welcome to the podcast. 

David Meltzer (00:08): 

I love it. Thanks for having me. 

Michaela (00:10): 

And it's good to see you again. I enjoyed our timetogether, even though my internet was wonky. 

David Meltzer (00:14): 

It happens. Its great to see you. 

Michaela (00:18): 

So listen, um, we're going to talk about happiness, causethat's the, that's what this podcast is all about and that's kind of yourspecialty. So I have this idea that happiness, isn't a, you know, people think like, oh, I can get happiness and then I have it from then on out. And I don't agree with that. I think it's something that we, um, we seek to obtain and we experienced momentarily and we have to really embrace it when it comes. But your mission is to empower over a billion people to, you know, be happy. So, so what are your starting tips and tricks? Like, what's your advice for people that, you know, are, are maybe feeling miserable and just don't even know how to start themselves on that journey? 

David Meltzer (00:56)

Yeah. So first of all, the way we think logically we'llnever change the way we feel. So many people will be anxious, depressed,worried, and they'll tell themselves, you know, look at the glass half full, you know, don't worry, let it go. I, I hear so many people tell me this and uh, you know, there's energetic and genetic dispositions that were inherited. Uh, but beyond the context of logic, you have to take action and that will change the way we feel. And so the actions that we take are three different dimensions. One is the action of mindset. So we have to change the way that we look at things. It change the way we think to know that we can't find outside of us, what we can find inside of us. And then there's the heart set the way we feel, uh, which can be changed by activities, actual physical activities. 

David Meltzer (01:48): 

Uh, the way we feel is about chemical, uh, state that ththe way that we feel, so we need dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphins,and then the conscious continuum, which is a much longer process to learn, to enjoy, to find the light, the love, and the lessons in consistent every day, persistent without quit pursuit of our own potential or happiness, our own truth. Uh, not what other people want for us. Not what's missing what we don't want, but are our own truth. And just like athletics, or just like academics. Everyone has different genetic and energetic, inherent, inherent inheritances that, uh, predispose us to a certain potential. So that's why it's so important to pursue our own potential and enjoy it. So what I tell people is the first step. If you're feeling anxious, depressed, separate, and very superior, guilty, resentful, offensive, angry, all these different feelings of the ego that make us sad. 

David Meltzer (02:53): 

What you need to do is stop. Don't resist it. Don'tovercome it. Don't oversell. It don't lie to a manipulated or cheated. Juststop, breathe through your nose, out through your mouth, and then take an activity, a mindset activity, a set activity, or a conscious activity that has a higher frequency than the one that you're existing at. Meaning go do a good deed. Go think a positive thought, go watch something safe, do something in your mindset, heartset or the conscious continuum or all three that will create dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin endorphins. For me, it's really simple. I tell people, lower the bar and do a good deed. Good deeds cover all three changes, your mindset, your heart set, and your conscious continuum. You can not be doing a good Dean. You can not be giving to other people without changing the unhappy feeling. You have you, if you're in the pursuit of your potential, if you're doing good, doing good deeds, you will feel good while you're doing it. And you can create a habit out of that. 

Michaela (03:55): 

Yeah. I just, I love what you said and I have, didn't tellmy clients too, as a psychotherapist, like, look, if you're stuck at a redlight and you're feeling really anxious, cause you're going to be late and then you're getting angry. Take a moment and look at the clouds, enjoy the sky. Like look around you. I love what you said though, about heartset. I hadn't heard that term before. And I liked that a lot. I I'm going to start incorporating that too. In, in the work I'm doing 11 steal it, um, 

David Meltzer (04:19): 

From somebody I can't remember who. 

Michaela (04:21): 

Oh, perfect. So it would just keep passing it down, um,and pursuing potential. I like that. Um, and why that really resonated with meis because, you know, I often think about times even with my own son where I'll react in a way that wasn't my favorite and I feeling down on myself about it. And, and I like to look at it as how can I do better next time? And I liked that if you stop in the moment, when you're feeling those kinds of negative emotions and you think about pursuing your highest potential, it doesn't leave much space for it anymore. I like that. That's good. 

David Meltzer (04:51)

Yeah. You know, there's four values, I think, uh, that areincorporated in that mindset, heart set and conscious continuum as well. So onesuperpower value is gratitude, right? You have that ingrained in you. And so do I, but you forget that not everybody seeks the light, the love and the lessons that everyone can learn to love everything that they do. Not everyone can get to do everything. They feel that they have to do things. Uh, but gratitude is the super power that needs to be practiced. I always tell people, you want to feel better. You want to get happy. Say thank you before you go to bed. And when you wake up, start there, 0.1 seconds. It takes to think or say, thank you. It takes 0.1 seconds. Um, it's free. It takes no, no physical exertion at all. You know, it's like nice to tell people, go run 10 miles a day. 

David Meltzer (05:38): 

That's hard. Same thing to you is easy, free, and fast.And yet I end, it's guaranteed to make you feel better if you do it 30 straightdays, and it could be incorporated into your subconscious and unconscious. So it literally can be a backbone to your entire being. But that gratitude is a superpower I have, uh, in the last 16 years, practice gratitude to such an, I mean to an amazing place that it's a super power for me. I literally can find light love and lessons in anything. And then all I have to do is determine, is it worth my time to spend doing this comparatively to all the other things would light love and lesson in them, but I don't waste any energy, creating Boyd, shortages and obstacles because all I'm focusing on is what's missing in a person or a situation or what I don't want in the person or a situation, or, you know, even what other people want for me, which is, you know, another form of creating separation or unhappiness. 

David Meltzer (06:38): 

So, you know, gratitude is one forgiveness. You were justtalking about that with your children. I have four. So nothing will teach youforgiveness better than, uh, you know, having children and forgiving yourself for just being ignorant. And I always say there's two, two types of people. There's ignorant people and ignorant people, but there's humble. There's humbling. There are people which I strive to be. And then there's arrogant, humble people, but the arrogant, arrogant, ignorant people, you know, we all don't know what we don't know. Humble people admit it, arrogant. People think they know everything or they don't. And parents though, it's interesting. Cause I just came on this nuance and you'll enjoy this. I used to think arrogant, ignorant people were w narcissistic, oh, you know, over sellers in sellers, liar, manipulators and cheaters. But I've also realized that parents are some of the worst arrogant, uh, ignorant people, meaning they love their children so much. And they want to protect their children from everything that they take on a form of arrogance that they know best. And let's be honest, we don't right. We, we are 

Michaela (07:45): 

More from my son. I'll tell you what, I let him be thedriver's seat of his life. And I'm just over here. 

David Meltzer (07:52): 

Yeah. That's humility. And I think in forgiveness comesout humility and then accountability obviously is another big one to happinessto take control of your life and just say, what did I do to attract this red light into my life? What am I supposed to learn from it? Maybe you're supposed to learn just to slow down that, you know, it's dangerous to rush, to go pick up your child from basketball and that, you know, I, and I, I learned, it's funny you use that analogy because I learned this lesson. I would get so uptight and so anxious because I wanted to be on time to pick up my child. And every time I got to a red light, it would raise my blood pressure. I swear at people, you know, and just lowering my vibration. And every time I ended up getting there either on time or even if I wasn't, the practice would run late and it wasn't a big deal, but I wasted so much energy and put my mind, body and soul at risk in physical risks too, because I was rushing, you know, tailgating, all the things dumb is do. 

David Meltzer (08:50): 

That's what I would do. So the accountability is soimportant just to take a moment and say, what am I supposed to learn? Iattracted this to myself. I'm accountable. What am I supposed to? There's still liability. That's fine. This is, you know, the human aspect of blame, shame and justification that I get it there's liability. But I live in accountability where I'm in complete control, allowing me to be inspired in spirit with people and happy. 

Michaela (09:13): 

Yeah. You know, it's like the world isn't happening to us.We're an active participant in it. We're a part of it. And I liked that. Wakeup and say, Hey, thanks. Um, with gratitude for being on the right side of the dirt today, you know, I've even thanked the toaster for getting me out the door with breakfast and you know, 37 seconds or something. 

David Meltzer (09:33): 

Yeah. Like there's three kinds of people too. Um, Mikayla,one people that say life happens to me, I'm a victim. Then I lived this lifefor a while. Life. They think they're optimists. Life happens for me when I'm buying things. I don't need to impress people. I don't like, but life actually happens through. You see, when people talk about the laws of allowance or attraction, life is longing for itself. Let it's expansive universe in life-long for itself. Well, if you allow life to long through its DeLong for itself, by allowing it to come through you with appreciation, when you appreciate what you have, you add value to it, which means it's expanding, it's growing, it's accelerating. And when you give it away to other people, you're acknowledging, acquiring the knowledge of what you have, but you've also expanded a void. So that next time you'll receive more. So it's a self perpetuating, expansive philosophy to allow life, to come through you and allow life to long for itself, through you, not for you or to you as a victim. 

Michaela (10:35): 

And that's interesting when I have people take the victimmentality often say, well, no, you allowed this experience. Let's find out why.And one of the things you recently posted on your Instagram that I shared and really liked is knowing your why and knowing your what. And I think a lot of people, you know, they say, I want to lose weight. Well, why? I don't know. My husband thinks I'm fat or whatever, you know, can you talk a little bit about how people can figure out their why? Cause I think a lot of people are just heading down the road 150 miles an hour and they're not even thinking about why they're doing it. They're just doing it. 

David Meltzer (11:05): 

Yeah. I have a five step or a five daily practices. What Icall applying our why? See I come from the construct that I am happy. I amhealthy. I am wealthy and I'm worthy. And I looked to see, what do I do to interfere with that? So that's my strategy or paradigm or perspective. Number one, I need to know what I want, what I want personally, experientially giving wise and receiving wise. And then the fastest way to get you get what I want is to figure out who has it or who has already had it or done it. So I asked myself, who can I help with what I want and who can help me. Then I figure out how I'm going to get it done through the lens of productivity, accessibility, and gratitude. The lenses productivity is how much value can I provide accessible is how accessible might to others and how am I accessing receiving what I want. 

David Meltzer (11:54): 

And obviously gratitude allows me to find the light, thelove and the lessons learning to love and be happy. The Viktor Frankl man'ssearch for meaning, right? But then here's the crux of why most people, even if they know their, what their, who in their, how they don't know their, now they haven't thought through the reasons or the importance or alignment with the values that they have of what to do see a hundred percent of the things you do now get done. The difference between passionate, purposeful, and profitable people is they get stuff done. And so the, uh, understanding of what activity I get paid for, I don't get paid for planned or unplanned or sleep, what activity I want to do. Now, if you know the activity that you want to do, are we aligned with what you want, who can help you, who you can help and how I'm going to get it done. 

David Meltzer (12:45): 

You can apply your why to it. And including you. I changeda lot of my mind. I changed. I'm always evolving and growing and learning. So Iused to say, I, I had Ferrari's and Porsche's and all that dumb stuff. And I said, you know, only thing I learned from this, you sh you know, I kind of poo-pooed that the people that wanted it, like, you know, you're inferior to me because I've already outgrown the Ferrari. Well, meanwhile, that doesn't make any sense. See, if you could tell me the reason how you're applying your why. Like I met a young gentlemen that very successful from the inner city at risk kid, and he owns a Lamborghini. And I said, man, you really don't want to buy things. You don't need to impress people. You don't, like he said, that's not why I bought the Lamborghini. 

David Meltzer (13:25): 

I said, why'd you buy it? He said, because I want otherkids that grew up around me in the same circumstances to know they can doanything. I don't drive the thing. I just have it there to tell people that you can have anything you dreamed of. And I said, you know what, good for you. That's a great reason to own a Lamborghini. And it doesn't apply to what I was saying. And I was wrong. Guess what? I am a hypocrite. Every day I changed. I changed my mind all the time. You know why? Because I'm ignorant. 

Michaela (13:54): 

I say, I reserve the right to change my mind whenpresented with new information, 

David Meltzer (14:00): 

That makes you humble. And if 

Michaela (14:02): 

Regret tomorrow, then five. 

David Meltzer (14:04): 

Exactly why I believe in rule number six that Xander'swrote about, uh, you know, I don't take myself so seriously. And people say,what's rule number one through five, go to rule. Number six. Life is so easy. When you Institute rule number six with radical humility in mind, 

Michaela (14:20): 

You can joke at yourself. I mean, then you've got it.That's how I feel. 

David Meltzer (14:24): 

It's hard not to be happy when you don't take yourselfseriously. 

Michaela (14:28): 

So this kind of ties into something you said, though. Iknow a lot of people that are seeking the material, happiness, and, um, one ofyour, one of your incredible speeches, you talked about loving yourself. And, um, you know, one of the things that I see a lot with the women that I work with is that they don't, they don't know how to silence their own negative. Self-talk long enough to find a space to love themselves. So they are doing things externally to bring them, they're buying stuff for the house. They're buying the new car they're doing. What? How do you help people through that? That I can't, that I'm not good enough. 

David Meltzer (15:00): 

Yeah. Well, I have a process called cancel, clear connectthat helps people understand. Like I said, you can't find in outside of you,what you can find inside of you. If you want people to love you, then love yourself. If you want people to respect you, then respect yourself. There's a variety of things that give meaning to who you are. And we give meaning to everything we see by looking within. And so I tell people when those negative thoughts, either from others or from yourself, negative attacks, judgements conditions, separations occur, cancel them like physically cancel them with your mind. Just don't let them in. And if they are in because they have surfaced again and again, you know, when you're going to bed, you're still anxious about it. Worried, frustrated, you know, angry about something, then clear it from your mind. It means it's in your subconscious. 

David Meltzer (15:49): 

You have about 40,000 of the same thoughts. And all you'vedone is put that negative energy negative thought in your subconscious. So wewant to clear it out of there. And it takes a little bit of time. It's not one time you can't just say clear, but if you consistently clear something that keeps popping up from your subconscious and then if, and when you have something that's hardwired either genetically into you or energetically into you, now you can connect and shift your energy. And I have multiple ways. In fact, I would be so grateful if anyone wants my book, I, I give my books for free ebook audio book. I signed books, send them my pay for shipping in the book. Don't worry, David, at the, that's a major part of my book is enact descript. How you cancel clear connect, control the negative data in order to effectuate all the positive things you want, because you do have an autopilot, you know, and, and it's so wonderful. 

David Meltzer (16:46): 

That's why sleep so important to me as you know, like I'man unwinding routine. I, my tomorrow starts today. I put my mind, body and soulin a position to not only recover, but to access I plateau and grow because I'm downloading all sleep. And I do that through this idea of cancel clear connect. So David had the reach out to me. I'll send you my book. Uh, but it's changed my life to control any negative inputs. People, places, things, ideas, podcasts, movies, TV. I don't let the negativity into this temple of positivity. It's not going to happen. 

Michaela (17:20): 

I love that. The temple of positivity, you know, I, I D Iget the same thing for people in my life. They're like, well, just come out.And, you know, I said, no, that's not going to give me enough hours for my processing sleep that I do my healing work that I do when my eyes are closed. I also, I love when I'm, when I'm meditating. One of the things I like when, when stuff comes in, that's not welcome. As I say, thank you for being here. I'll talk to you later. You know, I don't need you right now. I got this. I'm good. 

David Meltzer (17:49): 

Dyer had a great message. This is Wayne Dyer. You don'thave something positive to say, then go call Dr. Phil. 

Michaela (17:57): 

Oh, that's good. I hadn't heard that one before. I likethat. So, so your journey, your journey of life has taken you on this amazingroad. Would you have ever thought when you started on this path, that you would be here? I mean, did you always have a sense inside of you that you had this mission to fulfill or 

David Meltzer (18:14): 

No. My mission was to make a lot of money so I could buymy mom a house in a car. And I had limited myself what even that meant. And infact, as I, over the last 16 years has gone through a quantum shift or a transformation myself that even over the last four years when I was walking the beach and I'm at my beach house now not a prison. These are beach, bunk beds, not prison. No, no. Yeah. So, um, I'm just hitting in the back room where we put all the guests, uh, anyway, um, you know, I, I li I literally, to that point on, I lost my train of thought because I made my joke. What, what was quick, real quick, help me out, 

Michaela (18:53): 

How you got here. 

David Meltzer (18:54): 

So I wanted to make money for, you know, four years agowhen I started the media side and my personal brand, I terrified myself becauseI knew my mission of empowering people to be happy. And I started thinking exactly, like, I teach people not to think what, what's my family going to say, like, people are going to laugh at me again. They're going to make fun of me again. They're going to scoff at me. They're going to, and literally my brother, who's a pretty famous rabbis. Like, who do you think you are? Jesus Christ. You know? And then some of my other friends on the speaking tour is like, so now you think you're Tony Robbins, you're going to, you're going to impact the whole world. You're Oprah. And I'm like, I'm like, yes, I I'm here. And I've arrived. And this is my mission. 

David Meltzer (19:38): 

One that I never would have dreamed of even five yearsago, that I publicly would tell people. But you know what? The coolest thingis, they always laugh at you, scoff at you and make fun of you. And then they applaud you. And I am receiving so much positive reinforcement and support, including from my family and friends who laughed at me and scoffed at me because they're afraid I'd be hurt or embarrassed. And instead, now they see the math. Like I do that. There's a thousand people like Yuma Kayla in the world that I can impact two impact. Another thousand impact. Another thousand they're watching the videos, they're making them their own. They're not stealing from me. They're just learning and adding their appreciation to it, their value. And they're giving it away to other people that resonate with their frequency better than mine and it's growing. And I know in my lifetime, I'll create a collective consciousness of happiness that will transcend and have a major, major impact on the world to make more money, help more people and have more fun. That's as simple as it gets. 

Michaela (20:41): 

You're definitely raising the vibration. That's for sure.I mean, I'm so honored to get, to have this conversation with you. And, youknow, I love talking about this stuff is obviously what I do for a living as well. But, um, but to speak with someone who's just got so much insight. I mean, that, that really, uh, evolves consciousness. It's just so awesome. And I know that it's ever evolving. I feel the same way. Um, I'm always learning. I'm always apologizing. You know, it's just part of it. Thank you so much for coming on today. I know you didn't have a ton of time and I want to let you get back to your vacation, but I'm so honored, David. Thank you. 

David Meltzer (21:17): 

Let's do it again, please. Everyone reachout be kind to your future self, do good deeds and be happy.Thank you. Thank you team. Thank you guys. Take Care