Sep 2

Written by: michaela renee
9/2/2009 10:27 PM

They say we learned how to share in Kindergarten. Actually, they say just about everything we need to know we learned in Kindergarten.

I never had a sister.

So I never had to go through the pain and suffering of sharing girl time with my Mom, because I was the only girl. I never had a hand-me down dress for the Prom (well, at least not a hand me down from my older sister) and I never had some younger sister stealing all my shoes or my makeup.

But I had brothers…

Brothers usually ask nicely to share something with you, but saying no usually results in them just taking it. Brothers are famous for returning whatever they borrowed in far worse shape than it was loaned to them, if it’s returned at all.

After my ex-husband drove away with half our stuff I thought I’d never learn to share again.

It wasn’t just that I didn’t want to share my sink before bed or my DVD collection… I didn’t want to share the important stuff…like our friends that were left choosing one of over the other…or the half of my heart that he left barely beating in the driveway.

Because sharing is giving, and I wasn’t ready to give…anything.

The thing about sharing is we do it every day with people we don’t even know, like your seat on the subway…for example. We even share things that aren’t tangible, like knowledge. You can share your opinion, even though sometimes people don’t want it.

NAPSTER even created a business of sharing…of course they also got sued, because you’re only supposed to share things that are yours to begin with. Maybe you share the fence line with your neighbor, and therefore you share trimming the trees that lean over onto your side, even when they aren’t yours.

Billboards say “SHARE THE ROAD” as if there aren’t rules in place to ensure that we do, like “giving the right of way.” But more often than not we’re given a choice and the decision is made upon a quick analysis.

It’s kind of like driving around in circles for ten minutes looking for a parking spot, and the minute you turn the corner and find one, that exact moment someone turns down the aisle from the other direction. Right then you decide whether you’ll share.

If you decide to give up your parking spot, it’s because you figure either A. they need or deserve it more than you, or B. you’ll find a better spot around the corner.

But if you’ve been shafted on finding a good spot in that lot in the past, it’s less likely that you’ll share. You’ll probably sit tight, firm to your guns praying they just flip their blinker off and keep on driving.

That’s what happened to me after my divorce. I decided it didn’t matter who came along, no matter how nice they were, or how much they wanted it…I wasn’t sharing my parking space.

The true essence of sharing is directly equivalent to the basic desire of giving and trusting. And I’ve always considered myself to be an incredibly giving person, especially to perfect strangers. But suddenly, I didn’t share for the sake of myself, but only for the benefit of others.

I began to live in a space of independence. A safe zone where sharing was reserved for things like the name of my favorite band, or a bite of my dessert, or even my bed - but only for one night. I stayed protected from sharing the things in life that are really important, like sharing emotions- my laughter and my insecurities...sharing my dreams- the window to my soul.

An empty unfulfilled piece of my mind sat alone, full of things to give in the depth of my heart. But even then I didn’t know what at what price I would share.

It took a man willing to unselfishly give it all without fear of consequence, and I remember the day when I decided to share again…

The words he spoke were pivotal in my life, he said he didn’t want some of me, he wanted all…I wondered how that was sharing. He said I’d have to sacrifice it all, let go of fear…and I wondered how I could measure if it was worth it, and not worry about it if it wasn’t.

He said that he’d give it all, and if I gave all, then together we’d be sharing everything and never really giving anything up…but I’d have to trust him.

And what I realized is that when you learn to trust that giving is always the right thing to do, what you share you get back ten fold and in better shape than when you gave it.

Copyright ©2009 Michaela Renee

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