Apr 22

Written by: michaela renee
4/22/2009 8:32 AM

Everything I’ve ever worked for is gone…

I watched the small white digital numbers switch from 11:59 to 12:00, another new day has arrived that I’m not sure I’m ready to welcome.

Optimism abounds in my life, I find the positive in all the negatives, I don’t dwell on the lows and I bounce back quickly from the blows. I’ve surrounded myself with people whose eyes express love and hope. Today, at 12:01 even those people whisper these words…

Everything I’ve ever worked for is gone.

Day in and day out I offer up words of encouragement having come from the very bottom (after all that’s what the whole novel is about, surviving that fall, not once but twice).

And I realize, I believe my own words each time they escape my mouth. But I’m saddened…I’m saddened to watch one by one as my friends and my family lose it all. A deeper part of me knows that I’m better positioned than most, because “everything I ever worked for was gone” a long time ago, and I had time to come to terms with it.

Today I view my position not as complete failure, but as the opportunity to stand in the same place I stood back in college. Which is with the world at my feet and big dreams in my mind.

I look at the different lives of each of these individuals and what their words mean, and nights of restless sleep and pulling myself out of bed when I’d rather stay has helped me dissect their circumstances…

Each so different, yet each so the same.

A girlfriend of mine, struggled through divorce and rebuilt her life as a single mom with 3 children, she worked hard to build her business to a level of extreme success, one which allowed her to purchase the 5 bedroom home of her dreams. She now watches her dream home crumble around her with the payments becoming more than she can swallow a result of a decreased income, she’s back to square one.

A woman who I know dearly was involved in a tragic car accident, she barely survived and while struggling with the images that haunt her, has also undergone surgery after surgery, and realized she’ll never be who she was pre- that fatal afternoon.

A man who I dated, an executive in an organization, who despite having hundreds of thousands of dollars, never felt worthy of any relationship because he didn’t feel worthy of himself, he didn’t own property, and now he faces the brutal reality that he will be laid off, he can’t afford his rent, he has no place to call home and will begin dipping into the life savings he built.

An old friend, who saw great success in the real estate market, invested in multiple properties, was so busy building his empire that he never proposed to the girl of his dreams. Two months ago she left him and now he watches painfully as each of his homes goes back to the bank. He stands in a beautifully remodeled home waiting for the moment when the sign from the bank shows up in the lawn.

A married couple both have stable jobs, but their marriage struggles daily with the fear of financial loss, a large mortgage and a property that will likely not appraise for what it’s worth, they're afraid they can't afford to have children. They’ve begun fighting over ever minute detail in life, things they never would have considered arguing over 2 years ago, even a weekend getaway brings up discussions of the ‘why are we married, we don’t even like each other.’

A friend who recently went through a divorce and has a small child, now at risk of losing her job wonders if she should just go back to her abusive ex-husband, because at least he’s a sense of stability for her and her child.

All of them stand in their own form of Ground Zero. The towers are falling or have fallen and they watch dumbfounded. “Everything I’ve ever worked for is gone.“

Each of these individuals were upstanding citizens, people who relied on no one, worked hard, swallowed pride and built their lives. Because of the type of person they are, they blame no one but themselves for the muck they stand in today. Some might  blame the economy, and honestly at the root of each circumstance, through some 6 degrees of separation the economy is likely a major factor, if not the cause.

But there’s a deeper issue within each of them, and it’s that one thing, and only that which has the ability to pull all of us from this place of sorrow…Even those of us who are not directly affected, but as witness to the lives of our friends and family have the innate ability to help if we realize it.

Some might refer to it as “the Secret” believing that the Universe always lines up…some might refer to it as hope in divine intervention and the plan of a Greater Being, perhaps God. But whatever term you use to describe it, it comes down to one thing, faith.

Leaning on each other for support, and lending an ear without judgment has never been more critical, it’s the single handed way we, as a people, can pull ourselves through this tough time.

I know this, because I lived it, twice. I lived it in the most drastic way imaginable. I write this today to extend the thought to a greater audience than those that call on me… If you’re at the bottom today, you’re not the only one. If you’re the lowest you’ve ever been, rest peacefully knowing there’s no way to go but up (even if it takes longer than you’d like it to). If you’re still at the top, or even somewhere close to the middle…phone a friend today, someone you know needs to hear your voice, and just simply tell them, “I completely understand what you’re going through, I’m here if you need me, even if it’s just for a walk to clear your head.”

And then promise yourself, you’ll walk and listen and offer an ear without judgment for where they‘ve landed. They‘ve probably fallen hard. And since you are in a better place today, you can be the beam of hope in their life. And one by one, as a people, as a team, we can get through this crisis. If on nothing more than faith in each other, in ourselves.

Everything you’ve ever worked for is not gone, it’s just your chance to redefine yourself. Smile, hold your head up and ask yourself with the heart of a 13 year old kid, “Who do I want to be when I grow up?”

Copyright ©2009 Michaela Renee

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