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Aug
11
Written by:
michaela renee
8/11/2010 10:04 AM
I saw a picture from an elementary school in 1933, the boys were dressed in overalls, the girls had on long knickers. I’ve been tossing around thoughts of “back in the day” for awhile now. But, the reality of how much the world has changed didn’t hit me until I was in Las Vegas this past weekend. And I didn’t get up the courage to write (for fear of being called a hypocrite) until this morning, when I ordered a croissant sandwich from the café downstairs at work, and got talking about “back in the day" when Ranch dressing, was House dressing and it was always made from scratch, with love.
I didn’t live through the 20’s, 30’s or 40’s, or even the 50’s with James Dean, Billy the Kid and Marilyn. But, I’ve read enough in books, and seen enough on television to know that, what “stays in Vegas” today, likely never even happened back then, because your Momma raised you better than that.
Matt and I boarded the Cessna for Las Vegas, we were headed down to the theatre at the Encore to catch an acoustic performance by a good ole Oklahoma boy, some of you might have heard of, Garth Brooks. Matt’s flight instructor was giving a lesson in the small plane ahead of us about to take off, I’d just met him for the first time.
Matt and I kept distance behind the aircraft, until we heard over the radio, “Cessna 314 Mike, go ahead and go around us, Matt it was good to see you, oh…and you have a safe flight young lady, it was a pleasure to meet you.”
I smiled as I pictured the sweet old man who had just loaned us his GPS and envisioned the world that he came from, back where sweet nothings weren’t forced, they were simply natural.
For weeks before we’d gotten to Las Vegas, I’d told Matthew that my idea of a Bachelorette party was spending a day getting pampered at the day spa with my girlfriends drinking mimosas and talking about which of our friends have the cutest babies.
I guess that’s when I started to realize that I can be quite the prude, because en route to the show we passed a variety of people from all different walks of life. Women, who were exposing parts of their bodies that would have made God close his eyes and men, who were so insanely chauvinistic it was difficult to pass through the cloud of ego. But the most shocking of all, was the many women who were wearing tiara’s and sash’s that read “bride to be.”
We settled into our seats and I was filled with excitement. Garth came out on stage in Carhardt jeans and a baseball cap, and started talking about his musical influences. I about died when he started playing songs from some of the greatest artists of our time…ones that warm your heart inside, like James Taylor, Merle Haggard, George Jones, Bob Seger and Cat Stevens.
The concert was utterly amazing; Garth talked about his Dad and his Mom and shared all the hilarious stories that go along with being raised in a family of seven. He talked about things like back when laying in the back window of the Deville to take a nap was okay, and when standing on Dad's lap helping him drive the car was just part of growing up. He even talked about back when sex, drugs and rock-n-roll started becoming something people actually talked about and not swept under the rug.
That reminded me of when I was a teenager and I learned from Mom that nobody liked a “gossip” or the time when Dad sat me down to tell me that something “us Jacques” didn’t do was air our “dirty laundry.”
My Grandpa taught me that boys like girls who act like a lady...\ and that some things we save for our future husband, "not to be shared with the rest of the world little missy." And when I looked at him confused, my Nanny explained that ladies cross their legs, “like this.”
As we shoved our way into the mess of mini-dresses and high heels I realized, the blatantly obvious fact that it’s quite the vicious cycle, insecure women fighting for attention and men in turn treating women with disrespect.
We stood off to the side of a slot machine waiting for my family to catch up when a scantily clad woman came running over to me, “I love those boots, you look beautiful!” she screamed through her drunken excitement. I turned around toward my Dad and Matt and gave them a look that said, “huh? I don’t get it.”
There are forty thousand women running around exposing their sexy bodies to the whole world, and I’m standing there with a dress down to my knees, zero cleavage and shit kickers. I mean, shit kickers with shit on them. I was completely and utterly confused. Later I changed into a simple dress and flip-flops and I felt warm as Matthew reached for my hand.
“I don’t get it,” I started. “I don’t understand why these pigs are staring at me, I don’t even look pretty, I'm wearing flippies even.”
And Matthew said, “You are far prettier, and it’s not every day they see a natural beauty.”
I was stunned. He was right. If the women running around Vegas put some more clothes on, they would probably feel better about themselves, AND get more respect from the men around them. I’m not saying the men aren’t at fault for being absolutely disgusting. But what happened to an air of modesty?
Where did the days go, where women were beautiful and angelic, where what was hidden was more alluring than exposing everything to the world? Back when lingerie was reserved for the bedroom and not for a night out on the town, and pencil skirts and a button down were sexier than booty shorts.
I’m not saying that I don’t recognize that this sort of behavior existed “back when” but it just seems it’s become the norm, rather than the exception. I believe the technology is part of the cause for the “looseness” of our society. Sites like Facebook and digital cameras allow anyone to have moments of horrible discretion, and photos from nights out on the town, or worse self snapshots in the bathroom with nearly no clothing, wind up in online photo albums for the whole world to see. And, hip-hop music encourages behavior that was rarely heard of, much less spoken about back in our grandparents day.
I was a prudish, faithful, married woman for many years, ten, to be exact, through the prime of my dating years. That’s when most women start to explore their sexual side, I thus avoided all the peril’s that come with it. But, immediately following my divorce I became caught up in the world wind of today’s culture and society, for at least a good year. Through the pressure of dating in San Diego I managed to maintain my self-respect and dress respectably 99% of the time, but I can say as a girl who grew up in the country, I have moments I’m not proud of, fortunately none that I regret.
But the circle of life brought me right back to the small town I grew up in, where there is a definition behind the word “lady” and you can still find this thing called a “gentleman.”
I began dating a good ole country boy, who I’ve known since I was a little girl. Since the days when we were kids, he most certainly “celebrated” his youth and now that we’ve come together, both of us look back on some things and say, “whoops.”
The truth is, well before I started dating Matthew I had decided I didn’t want to be out drinking and partying every night and given it up. And the reality is, the minute he and I got together, I was thankful that I’d found a man who appreciated a classy girl. I was even more thankful I’d conducted myself in such a way that I could be proud being his woman and that I didn’t have to try to keep up with the show and tell going on in the world around me.
I worry for the youth following my generation, and I know that when Matt and I raise our kids, we’ll teach them the way we were taught. Because, modesty, it seems has changed its definition, to “noun. Something that mostly existed prior to 1960, and became completely extinct near the late 1990’s.”
If any of my girl fans are out there reading this, I hope you believe that you are beautiful, and you are worth self-respect. Its okay to dress a little more conservative (believe me, you still look sexy, men are still in awe of the female body). It’s even more okay if you screwed up one summer in Cancun, or were tagged in some drunken photo one night partying and dancing with some guy you don’t know. You are deserving of everything you know you really want, and you don’t have to feel bad that you don’t really love how you feel walking around Vegas. In the words of Michael Jackson, “If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself, and make a change.”
Copyright ©2010 michaela renee
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21 comments so far...
Re: Back in the Day
I've often wondered, too, what the allure of acting like that is...for both men and women, and I came to the conclusion that most of it is stemmed from insecurity. They believe they know what the oposite sex wants, and they offer it out freely, more often than not, excessively so, especially in Vegas! And it's because they don't believe that they're enough without it. It's sad that it has to be that way, but it's like you said: it's a vicious cycle. One sex can't change their operation without the other doing the same.
And my prediction is that it's only going to get worse.
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