By michaela renee on 5/22/2009 5:09 AM

The text came through and it said, “my copy has arrived.”

The words in and of themselves, and perhaps even put together don’t seem that important. Unless of course it’s a copy of a birth certificate for your newborn baby, a copy of the escrow documents on your first house, a copy of the divorce settlement or… your Memoir being delivered to the man you wrote about.

Suddenly I realized I had written about my life, in painstaking detail, and suddenly I began to feel exposed.

While I share a lot of information with the world, the things that affect me most deeply have always stayed very close to my heart, and suddenly I realized that all those things that I’d chosen to protect over the years were available…on Amazon.com. I felt like I’d taken a scalpel, cut out my heart, sprinkled a little bit of my soul on it and uploaded it to YouTube. Why did I do this?

Because somehow if I put my thoughts on p ... Read More »

By michaela renee on 5/20/2009 6:28 AM

Therapy Sessions of an Online Dating Addict: Failed The Myers Briggs

Me: I found the perfect match.com profile.

Therapist: Perfect is a strong word.

Me: No, it was absolutely perfect. He’s educated, works as a firefighter, fairly witty, photos looks excellent, owns his house so he understands commitment, my age…
So I reached out to him, sent him a wink, he winked back.

Therapist: A wink is a good thing right?

Me: Yea, in match.com land it means “I’m interested.”

Therapist: Got it.

Me: So after he winked back, he mentioned that we share a love of golf, and that we should meet up at the driving range…

Therapist: Wow, I like this one already!

Me: Then he adds, but before that I would like you to fill out this questionnaire.

... Read More »

By michaela renee on 5/14/2009 10:42 AM

Me: He was super cute…and with a girl.

Therapist: So you didn’t meet this one online?

Me: Nope, it was after the Padres game, a big group of us went to celebrate the win at the top of Altitude in downtown, since winning is so rare.

Therapist: (chuckling) How did you approach?

Me: I surveyed the situation throughout the evening, he was super tall, very handsome, blonde hair, green eyes, pretty well built. My guess was military because his hair had that look to it.

Therapist: Stereotyping, be careful.

Me: So just as my group of friends is about to leave I just walked right up to him and said, “Is this your girlfriend?”

Therapist: Smooth move.

Me: He said “Hi, what ... Read More »

By michaela renee on 5/1/2009 7:22 PM

A little salt on the deepest cut stings the most...

One day I stood with my feet deep in the sand, the ocean waves lapped over my ankles, and quickly, with each receding wave, my feet sank deeper; before I knew it, the tide had risen.

I was surrounded by water. I was standing in the middle of the ferocious Pacific ocean. Rather than turning to run, I stood still. I was almost calmed by the way the water rolled in, and the sky got dark. Stars peppered the ceiling above my head and somewhere amongst my fear I felt safe.

The sand became a mold of my feet and suddenly it was soothing to watch the wild of the ocean all around me and know that the water would not get higher, I would not sink further. So I stood still.

Then it all changed. I felt a current that sent a warning all the way up my legs and landed somewhere between my eye lashes and my gut, and I was afraid.

My ... Read More »